Action Movie/Hong Kong Action Flick... IN TOUHOU

Suppose you are invited to Gensokyo to film an action movie (doesn't have to be specific to any country, but it has to be action movie like The Expendables or the likes.) Who would you cast based on the template below?

Main character:
Archvillian/Nemesis:
Side char that the main char always ends up falling in love with:
Main char's partner-in-crime:
Main char's sensei that your archenemy ends up hurting/killing:
Archenemy's subordinate that was once your friend:
Any other, insignificant chars:

Should we add some "Miscellaneous Chars" that doesn't exist in Touhou? (Like our Minecraft player or some random anime). Is will make a better idea for our Movie (I think).

You can do WHATEVER you want. After all, this is for fun.

1. Alice
2. Patchouli
3. Marisa
4. Also Marisa
5. Maybe Shinki...?
6. Well, Alice and friends...
7. Reimu might be in the mix... Somewhere.

And now, the stupidest casting ever.

Main character: Cirno
Archvillian/Nemesis: Suwako Moriya
Side char that the main char always ends up falling in love with: Letty Whiterock
Main char's partner-in-crime: Daiyousei
Main char's sensei that your archenemy ends up hurting/killing: Wriggle Nightbug
Archenemy's subordinate that was once your friend: Nitori Kawashiro
Any other, insignificant chars: Reimu, Marisa, Sakuya, Sanae. Etc.

TALK ABOUT A PARADOX.