Tactical Lack-of-Presence Incoming

I have either one of two things to say

1) What kind of horrible fucking monstrosity of a laptop layout do you have to require that (If it's non-standard. If it is standard...)

2) Why don't you just fucking use the normal left and right buttons considering that's how laptop trackpads are designed to be used?

Hey remi wanna try using MY trackpad???? (^: