It's been six months. This- has been hard to reread. In these six months, I'd like to think I've... Matured, even if a little. Or at the very least, I've become... Less of an ignorant prick.
I left on the assumption that the community was no longer as great as it used to be... How shameful that I had only realized the truth now.
I was wrong
It was not the community or its people. It was me. The forums just weren't working for me anymore, and I decided to blame the community instead of myself. That was the most foolish thing I could've done... So in short,
I'm here to apologize.
I'm sure this would not do any justice to a good number of you, but I'm sick of carrying this hatchet. I decided to do this to put that to rest, as well as any... Hostilities I have caused.
You all... You're great people. I have done a great injustice to you guys by saying what I did. But, in the end, I found it best to, as Kilelicus pointed out I had, shoot my high horse, and walk the low road.
On the mention of Kilelicus, You have every right to hate me. I knew I was walking a thin line with you, and this thread set you off. This may be wishful thinking, but... I was hoping that with you, in particular, I could put these hostilities to rest. I'm not saying we should be friends. I just... Wanted to speak that of my mind.
So to end this, all of this:
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I insulted the community.
And I'm especially sorry to the members of this community, who I have shamefully insulted.
Guys, when I joined this community, I thought it was gonna be great. I thought it was gonna be members welcoming me into the community, fellow minecrafters coming together to create something great, forum users having a good time with eachother.
And it was.
Lemme be honest here, being a part of this community was one of the better decisions I've made in my life. It opened the doors to a more open social life. I felt like I was part of something big. And I want to thank you all for making me feel that way. But now I've come to a final decision after pondering for a long time.
I'm leaving this community.
Being here was one of the better decisions of my life, but the longer I've stayed, the more divided I see the community become. You have all noticed it, but at this point, most of the yukkuricrafters don't really interact as a community anymore. Now it's like it's just a server that happens to have prebuilt buildings. Don't know if you see it, but this is what I saw. I saw the community making friend bubbles and then closing off the rest of the community. It's like you stick to the opinions of your own bubble and leave the rest of the community to their bubble. Hell, who is even going to see this beyond the bubble that most of the rpers didn't know they had?
And that's another thing: how the rest of the community treats the rp section. As far as the story in supernatural goes, god made leviathans, but then resented them and banished them to purgatory. This community decided to collectively create a small little rp section for some to use when on their off time. But now those outside of the rp community treat it like it's some experiment gone wrong and they abandoned it, left it to those who already inhabited it. It's sad, really.
FOR THE RP MEMBERS
As far as my place in the rp community, though, I'm now just some guy who pops in every now and then. As if anything I was involved with doesn't even matter anymore. Every rp I had been a part of, I had a story arc in the waiting until you guys decided to go with it. But now I've come to the reality that they won't be happening at all. The rp would either be closed down or they would put it into a complete halt, or even just my particular part of the story. For those of you who say that "so what, you had plans, it's not your rp." And to them I say that yes, it isn't my rp. It's everyone's. Everyone deserves a chance to express how a story should go. That's what makes rping so much fun. But I feel like most had forgotten that. Now everyone's so caught up in the professionalism that never existed.
And for the rps I'm involved in... They are no longer in my control. AT ALL. I'm not going to stay and fix that, because I know it will al be in vain. Do as you wish with them. Kill them. Forget them. Control them. But they are no longer mine.
FOR ALL
Now that all being said, I'm sure you can bounce back. Become the one community that you started as, mix bubbles into one YukkuriCraft mega bubble. But as far as I'm concerned... Well... I'm done waiting for that. I no longer have patience to wait for that to happen. I have faith it will. But just know that I won't be here when it does. I used to be the Yama of YukkuriCraft. I used to be Otori, HM, Gerard, Toran, all of those wonderful characters I've made. And now, from the ignored discussion posts, the overlooked event suggestions, the lack of attention as a member, I have realized that I am now only a worm in the soil. So then who will respond to this? Honestly, at this point, I have more pressing matters at hand, such as getting my mentality straightened out. I wish you all, from the bottom of my heart, the best of luck as a community.
Remember how Otori built a Horizon Reset Console and planned to reset the entire cast of AtWaG (actually I bet a good lot forgot by now)? Maybe I should make an AU where otori actually goes through with it. Like everyone resets and starts a normal life but sense that something is off and work to find out what happened.
Note: I didn't say rp. I don't think you guys want another new rp. If you do, that's up to you guys. I'd love to. I just think that making this AU would be fun.