Note: this is the first fanfic i've written, so it's likely crap, please, if you dont like it, please flame me in the replies section.
Children, sit down for a historically accurate tale of love and other shit, and no, the jokes won't be awful, I'm looking at you Jay Leno. T'was but a month ago, in a trailer park in Uganda. The beautiful Hinanawi_Tenshi was sitting in their lawn chair, looking at hentai and listening to the tasty beats of the Naruto soundtrack, when suddenly, a stranger approached. Their name was Remi_Scarlet, a short, sexually ambiguous, purple haired loli.
"I love you!" yelled Remi, but alas, Tenshi could not hear him over the 5th Naruto opening. Remi pulled out his fully automatic ar-15 with baby killing rounds, and shot Tenshis phone.
"What's your beef stranger?" Tenshi said in a southern accent. Remi looked intently into his eyes.
"I love you" Remi said, but suddenly, Tenshi stood up and flipped his lawn chair.
"What the fuck is?!" Tenshi said, holding a green jelly bean. "How the fuck do you expect me to film this shit soap opera, if you give me green jelly beans?!"
"Calm the fuck down you speccy bowl hair cut wanker" the director said, fuming. "I'll beat your fucking arse."
Tenshi glared, "Now listen here you Fat Oaf! I can't do this, when you give me green FUCKING jelly beans!"
I'll save you the tedious dialogue. Tenshi quit, they got a fat replacement, and the show went on.
Remi looked deeply into the now fat Tenshis eyes. But suddenly a figure came walking in the sunset, it resembled Mcree from overwatch. The figure spoke, "You were expecting Mcree, BUT IT WAS ME, DIO BRANDO!" Except it wasn't actually Dio Brando, but rather RedLeaf64. "I love Tenshi also, too, as well!" Red exclaimed.
"Then we must fight to the death for him!" Remi replied. With that, the battle commenced. Red hit him with 64 leaves, which were also red, as Remi tried to throw Gungnir at Red, but to no avail. Suddenly, Remi appeared behind Red and said "Have you heard of a game called... Undertale?" With those words, Reds eyes grew wide. "You're gonna have a bad tim" Remi said, and one eye started glowing blue as remi used super kawaii desu kun chan senpai telepathy powers to throw Red this way and that.
Red began to speak, "What's undertale?"
Suddenly, WanderingAviator appeared. "The fuck did you just say you little piece of shit?" Aviator said, donning her traditional "Bad Time" t- shirt. Aviator then proceeded to say "Know your place, trash" and slam dunk red into a dumpster.
Red got out of the dumpster, and Aviator was gone, but Remi remained. "ATATATATATATATATATATATATATA" Red yelled as he hit Remi faster than was humanly possible. Remi flew into the air and everything froze and went black and white. "Hokuto Hyakuretsu Ken." Red said, as Remi exploded into blood and all that good stuff. Red turned to speak to Tenshi, but he stopped him.
"I love another." Tenshi said, as he shot Red in the face with the same Ar-15 with baby killing rounds as before. As red bled out, he saw Tenshi leave. Just then, he saw him, the one Tenshi had shot him for. Barack Obama, in all his stuttering glory, but then obama pressed the button to nuke everything and they all died. That's basically it.
Children, sit down for a historically accurate tale of love and other shit, and no, the jokes won't be awful, I'm looking at you Jay Leno. T'was but a month ago, in a trailer park in Uganda. The beautiful Hinanawi_Tenshi was sitting in their lawn chair, looking at hentai and listening to the tasty beats of the Naruto soundtrack, when suddenly, a stranger approached. Their name was Remi_Scarlet, a short, sexually ambiguous, purple haired loli.
"I love you!" yelled Remi, but alas, Tenshi could not hear him over the 5th Naruto opening. Remi pulled out his fully automatic ar-15 with baby killing rounds, and shot Tenshis phone.
"What's your beef stranger?" Tenshi said in a southern accent. Remi looked intently into his eyes.
"I love you" Remi said, but suddenly, Tenshi stood up and flipped his lawn chair.
"What the fuck is?!" Tenshi said, holding a green jelly bean. "How the fuck do you expect me to film this shit soap opera, if you give me green jelly beans?!"
"Calm the fuck down you speccy bowl hair cut wanker" the director said, fuming. "I'll beat your fucking arse."
Tenshi glared, "Now listen here you Fat Oaf! I can't do this, when you give me green FUCKING jelly beans!"
I'll save you the tedious dialogue. Tenshi quit, they got a fat replacement, and the show went on.
Remi looked deeply into the now fat Tenshis eyes. But suddenly a figure came walking in the sunset, it resembled Mcree from overwatch. The figure spoke, "You were expecting Mcree, BUT IT WAS ME, DIO BRANDO!" Except it wasn't actually Dio Brando, but rather RedLeaf64. "I love Tenshi also, too, as well!" Red exclaimed.
"Then we must fight to the death for him!" Remi replied. With that, the battle commenced. Red hit him with 64 leaves, which were also red, as Remi tried to throw Gungnir at Red, but to no avail. Suddenly, Remi appeared behind Red and said "Have you heard of a game called... Undertale?" With those words, Reds eyes grew wide. "You're gonna have a bad tim" Remi said, and one eye started glowing blue as remi used super kawaii desu kun chan senpai telepathy powers to throw Red this way and that.
Red began to speak, "What's undertale?"
Suddenly, WanderingAviator appeared. "The fuck did you just say you little piece of shit?" Aviator said, donning her traditional "Bad Time" t- shirt. Aviator then proceeded to say "Know your place, trash" and slam dunk red into a dumpster.
Red got out of the dumpster, and Aviator was gone, but Remi remained. "ATATATATATATATATATATATATATA" Red yelled as he hit Remi faster than was humanly possible. Remi flew into the air and everything froze and went black and white. "Hokuto Hyakuretsu Ken." Red said, as Remi exploded into blood and all that good stuff. Red turned to speak to Tenshi, but he stopped him.
"I love another." Tenshi said, as he shot Red in the face with the same Ar-15 with baby killing rounds as before. As red bled out, he saw Tenshi leave. Just then, he saw him, the one Tenshi had shot him for. Barack Obama, in all his stuttering glory, but then obama pressed the button to nuke everything and they all died. That's basically it.
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