RP General Discussion

Well, it's getting late over here. Got things done today, hopefully we can get more done.

By the way, remember when I (or someone) mentioned how badass the AtWaG rp would be as a video game? Well I was thinking and I imagined the fighting styles would be like Dynasty Warriors on mobs, and Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm or any 1v1 3 dimentional fighting game against actual characters. Hell, a 'special move' system would also be cool to add.

Like Jack. Know how he throws knives into the air? Well his special would be to throw the knives into the air, then do a powerful punch to the enemy, sending them skyward. Given how fast the enemy is rising and how fast the knives would be falling, the impact between the two would be quite painful. Then Jack would NT into the sky and power kick them to the ground, and then finishing them by landing on them using the machete, shouting "BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL JUSTICE!" The final blow would be devastating!

Know what? I'm saving that combo for Jack's final fight.

The final fight.. I got something that our dear spartan might be shocked with, even Glaive might be or he would say "the most boring way to win a fight"

also enjoy the night if you are going to seep wonder ^^

What is it? Flick her in the nose and watch as she gets the endless sniffles like crazy while she's processing what the f*ck just happened?

Actually that'd be pretty cruel.

Night y'all.

oh let´s say that (if Im correct) the almost "inhuman" perfect soldier will show his true colors by being just a killing machine or a being with a soul

I´m also going to sleep, goodnight people

Ooooh, no I mean the final fight of Jack's life.

Guess what people

I got good news and bad news

the good ones are from here

my thread (some writings) just reached 2000 views and Im excited fr it

The story of a traveler has been reborn and I got inspired (I hope for long haha) and made a new chapter in an hour

Now the bad news

I will murder my boss because he sent me a mail with an urgent job for today and I didn´t sleep at all, but darn I finished it and sent it to him
So I´m surely going to be on my comfy couch snoring

My head is dizzy, my feet hurt, and my eyes feel dry, and I'm happy for i don´t know, probably sleep deprivation for last week (has slept only 3-4 hours a day)

so here I am still finishing whatever Im needed for and I can fall in any moment, so you got the clock ticking

@Kristia

Just go rest Kristia. You really deserve the rest. We can easily wait until you return... I hope most of us can. Then again, we can be quite patient.

Okay SUS see you guys later

also before I forget, please tell me what you think of my story via whatever you feel its fine, please be honest if it is good, bad, simple, complicated. I know I have grammar errors stacked to high numbers, but I want honest opinions of readers

see you later people

Kristia, one thing I can say about your story is that you use too many different colors that attract attention away from the rest of the body and descriptions. No one line should be made to be more eye-catching than the others. It's like a rainbow that hurts to look at. Bold lines are okay for conversation and dialogue, but to really make it a story, like a professional short story, nothing should be bolded.

You've got the right idea for most of your dialogue, as in, the way many bits of dialogue start out is just fine. A good paragraph with dialogue should be structured like:

---

"I'm hungry," John said. He rubbed his stomach and groaned. "I could use a hamburger."

And so John Doe got himself a hamburger. (More description or not)

---

I hope this helps.

ok Major, thanks for it ^^

I have read both stories of yours and can say they are well structured and barely any error, just one grammar error every hundred words, but in general, they are great