RP General Discussion

RP General Discussion

Originally posted by Kristia
ok Major, thanks for it ^^

I have read both stories of yours and can say they are well structured and barely any error, just one grammar error every hundred words, but in general, they are great

You found some errors? Tell me what they are please! I can't get better without some third-party insight!


Sent from my iPhone

ok on the first chapter, I think it isn't needed but I may be wrong too

"No," Remilia groaned. "No, I know what I'm doing. I'm just... Taking a walk. At night. In the human village."

The first no doesn't need a coma

I'm just... Taking a walk. At night. In the human village."

You don't need those periods. Type it as talking a walk, at night, in the human village.

I type stories as well and using periods like that doesn't seem right.



Sent by Tapatalk

Guys, Im going to edit my story with the suggestion of Major since he is right about it and I thank him for the constructive opinion

so I´ll be quite busy since I will also fix the mountain of grammatical errors XD

Sorry for not being able to post too much, I've been really busy with RTY the last few days.

Hi there Katrix, how are you?

I wanted to ask about the RTY, what is it about?

@Kristia

I'm good. As for RTY, it's the server's official minecraft modpack.

Hmm, Kristia, if you're talking about the 'no' in "No," Remilia groaned-, that's correct. Depending on the punctuation, either a comma or a period, Remilia's 'No' becomes different. For example, if the 'no' has a period after it, it means that the two words after it are part of a single line, meaning that Remilia groaned out the 'no'. If it had a period after it, then that would mean that Remilia simply said 'no' before groaning. That makes sense grammatically-wise, but it doesn't please me when it's acted out.

Zekai, you're absolutely right. I don't need those periods. In fact, I could type it with or without commas and it would be acceptable. It wouldn't go against the rules of grammar that way. But like I said above, it doesn't please me when it's acted out. It just doesn't sound right! Think of it this way: in the line you chose to evaluate, Remilia has been caught by Koakuma, a servant. I chose to show Remilia getting embarrassed at this.

If she had said "I'm just taking a walk at night in the human village", that would betray her embarrassment. It could show that she was trying to be nonchalant about the encounter, but I wanted to capture the absurdity of it all. With every sentence ended by a period (-I'm just... Taking a walk. At night. In the human village.") the level of absurdity rises and digs Remilia deeper into a hole she can't easily climb out of. Here she is, big mistress of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, and she's taking a walk at night in the human village. A walk is understandable, but at night AND in the human village?

So yeah, Zekai, you're right, but it just doesn't sound as good.

ALSO SUSTIC GET GOING JEEZ

Oh ok Katrix

Also guys, I finished editing the story of a traveler, erased the bold and color on conversations, erased most if not all the grammar errors and added some stuff in almost all chapters to make them more understandable.

There are surely things that can get better, but Im a noob in terms of spelling and writing, so basic writing it how I am doing it ^^;

@Major

Wait what? OH CRAP TSU! I'LL GET ON IT!