@Jmont
At least you can admit that u made a mistake and that you are trying to make that up (I...Think...) so, don't be like <Eww, I am nothing> Even though I'm not that religious I may say that you have to find what you love and what you want to be... A good proverb says: "Happiness is not and end, it is a road" so... Get on that road and <Don't worry, be happy>.
Yamaxanadu Out.
