It's been a long, lonesome semester full of depression, chestpain, anger, and soul-searching. I'm not going to bore you with the details, but I will tell each and every single one of you that I'm trying to be a better person these days. I'm trying to be more social and right some of the wrongs that I've committed in the past. I cannot erase every cruel thing I said or did, and god knows I've done some horrid things to two particular people in this community, but what I can do is make amends.
I come to you today not as some pompous prick or a depressed and angry misanthrope but as someone seeking a second chance. I am genuinely sorry for my conduct, and I'm asking for your forgiveness.
Originally posted by wonderweiss On 03-25-2014 - Well... I just hope Zekai finds it in him to come back. Because (unlike some decommissioned majors that shalln't be Mario'd) he doesn't deserve to leave.
Good to see you back again. Hope you can get over your own past. I heard that you didn't have it all that well in the past so I can understand that it can get easy to get angry. We give (nearly) every a second chance at yukkuricraft. It would be just cruel of us to not give you a second chance.
Born in the light.
Molded in the dark.Never Forget,
Keep Fighting.
Don't Forget.
Always, somewhere,
someone is fighting for you.
As long as you remember her,
you are not alone.
@Major Wow... I never thought I would I ever see you come back. And in not in a sarcastic way. I honestly wasn't sure on whether you would return or not. Before I say the usual "you're welcome back anytime and we forgive you" and such, I just want to say a few things.
You're not the only one who has been going through months of suffering and self-exile. I myself have had my emotional turmoil and the almost complete destruction of one's sociability. Twice. One of which you were actually there for. Although I have recovered from most of it, the remnants still linger. And let me tell you, if it weren't the people who I cared about, I wouldn't be where I am today. Heck, if I had not met the RP guys, I would have not remained in the greater Yukkuricraft community. I would not be here today. And do you want to know one of the people who helped me back in January and February? You. You might deny claims to be social but you at least posted from time to time. Words of encouragement to pick myself back up when I had the most embarrassing and frustrating day of 2014 so far. And you did talk a little bit. Be it the occasional things in this thread, Noire, or in TSU. And that's enough for me. After all, I am naturally a rather quiet person. I usually only speak when spoken to or when context dictates otherwise.
And let me say something that may seem completely outrageous and silly because I think you need to hear it. When I first heard of you (on the forums and on the server), I attempted to follow in your footsteps. I wanted to become a respected member of the Yukkuricraft community (as you are an Elder), write the finest roleplay, and achieve mutual respect from the people around me. Because I saw you as the ideal person. The one to follow and the one to aspire to be like. And for that, I tried to become the second Patchouli of Yukkuricraft. (Only for me to become depressed and become the umpteenth Flandre). I wanted to be like you because of what I heard about you and what you had achieved. And when I saw you RP with me in TSU and even sign up for Noire, I was happy. I was very happy to see that happen. Because I felt like I was actually getting to know the one who I desired to be like. And when I saw you leave, I was saddened. Because the one who I admired had left.
Major, you had said in the past that you did not have any friends in the Yukkuricraft community or in the RP group and that your departure wouldn't matter. But deep down, it mattered to me. I really wanted to be your friend. And given time, I really would have considered you one. Sure, I might just be a little mite in this world and my words do not carry weight but I mean it. If you never left and looked down on us like you did then; I'm sure that there could have been a point where you might have thought the same as me. Just maybe. But I never got to find out because you had left.
I'm not going to be the one to forgive you as I am not one of the people who you wronged directly. For that, you will have to speak to those who believe (and that you believe) that they have been wronged by you. I will not say who as I do not completely know and also to retain their identity, if they do not wish to be involved. I will say this, however; don't ever give up on the people in this community. Because, through the frustration I've had with some people here, I have yet to give up on them. Why? Because I believe people can change. People will grow. It's just a question who is the one in need of growing and changing. The ones that frustrated you or you, yourself?
Major, I would be happy to see you return. I just hope that we can get to a point where this nonsense can be put behind us and we can write to our hearts' content. That we can actually resolve our conflicts and respect our differences. Including the petty and annoying ones.
Smash through the blocks that bar your way; No time for fear, just let it all fall away; Nobody believes in me and you, Just look at the way they stare; So what if we live in a walled garden, As long as I've got you then I don't care! My Switch Friend Code: SW-1503-3394-5328 My NNID: OfficialTRXD Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/lunapixu/
It's nice of you all to say such things, especially you, TRXD. I knew I had some kind of influence on the community by breathing life into the RP section (I believe I got Elder that way), but I didn't know I had that much of an impact. I don't like letting people down, but I don't have any excuses for my behavior. I just want to try and put the past behind me and focus more on being a better person. I'm getting interested in Buddhism and I'm trying to follow what they believe in, because I think those monks have it all figured out.
I don't have much to say because I don't have much to explain, plus I don't want to linger on the past anymore. I'm done arguing, and while there is one person in this community who I cannot stand, I will try and at least be personable.
Yeah guys I don't know if anyone told you this, but as I was driving home from Jasmine's house this morning I had got rear-ended by some lunatic. The back part of my car is totaled, but I made it out with thankfully only some serious bruises or cuts. The man who rear-ended me ended up with... well let's say he will need to be in the hospital for a good week or two...
But yeah I'm in some pretty bad pain right now as my body is just sore all over. I'm not exactly back at an actual computer as I'm posting from my tablet while I'm in the hospital right now.
So please don't worry too much, I'm fine currently and I should be back at either Jasmine's house or my brother's apartment. Depending on who will decide to pick me up from the hospital.
